☻Bud, what happen??? tried callin many time, everytime i get operator sayin 'Sorry, The Subscriber U R Calling is having Sex, Please try again later.'
☻Bloke calls work : "Boss, cannae come in tae work. I'm sick"
Boss asks: "How sick are u?"
Bloke: "I'm F****ing my Sis, how sick is that???"
☻Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and lets play that game!
☻Roses are red, Pickles are green, I like ur legs and all that's between!
☻I like your style, you got sheer class, but babe, my god, I WANT YOUR ASS!
☻Hey, there is Hot-sex, Group-sex, safe-sex, phone-sex, speedy-sex, crazy-sex and for people wid ur face - NO SEX!
☻When an apple is green, it's ready to pluck, When a girl is sixteen she's ready to ..WOOPS...wrong number....
☻U good at math? Well, add a bed, subtract ur cloths, divide ur legs and we can multiply!
☻Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.
☻Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
☻Important Message: Conserve your toilet paper - use both sides.
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
☻If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
☻I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.
☻The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
☻There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
☻Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
☻You may be recognized soon. Hide.
☻Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
☻He who laughs last thinks slowest.
☻Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.
☻I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
☻Is somebody not editing what I'm saying here???
☻Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
☻If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
☻You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
☻My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch
☻If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me
☻Mind intentionally left blank...
☻I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem
☻Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
☻Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
☻If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
☻Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
☻If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
☻The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
☻It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With ahunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.
☻Born Free........Taxed to Death.
☻We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...searching...searching...still searching...sorry NO BRAIN found
☻I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is sms gossip.
☻Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
☻My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.
☻Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...
☻Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
☻What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
☻Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
☻Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
☻First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
☻Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
☻Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.
☻Bad sex is better then a good day in school.
☻Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
☻Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
☻Be unique and different, just say yes.
☻Can I flirt with you?
☻Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
☻Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.
☻Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
☻Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
☻Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.
☻I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!
☻I've got the ship, you've got the harbour ... what say we tie up for the night?
☻I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
☻If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?
☻Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
☻That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
☻Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
